


i have not been shy

by ididitmyway, pensiveVisionary (hamburr)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Sexual Content, Trans Aaron Burr, Trans Character, in the second chapter anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:02:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7695748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ididitmyway/pseuds/ididitmyway, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamburr/pseuds/pensiveVisionary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Alexander. I am trying to watch the performance. If you keep talking, I'm going to track the man down afterwards and make you tell him everything you've said," says Lafayette.</p><p>Alexander Hamilton develops some serious heart-eyes for a handsome singer. Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first multi-chapter fic :O
> 
> first chapter today, second chapter should hopefully be up tomorrow if all goes according to plan! ;)

"Okay but like, for real though, the singer is so hot. I would, like, do anything he asked me to do."

"Alex. Keep it in your pants for once in your life."

"I'm just saying! Tell me any of you disagree."

"I'm content with Lafayette, thank you," says Hercules, putting his arm around Lafayette's shoulders. Lafayette laughs and leans into him.

"I think you probably just need to get laid," John says, nudging Alexander with his shoulder.

"What do you know about that, Mr. Acest Asexual Ever?" Alexander grumbles.

"I know _you_ , Alex." John grins at him; Alexander just rolls his eyes.

"He's just-- his face! His body! His voice! Like, how does he do that?"

"Alex. Shut up."

"He's just so beautiful--"

"Alexander. I am trying to watch the performance. If you keep talking, I'm going to track the man down afterwards and make you tell him everything you've said," says Lafayette.

"I just-- I would totally date him, he's--"

" _Shut up!_ "

  


After the show, the four of them had planned to get food, but Lafayette gets lost in the crowd and they end up standing by the doors, trying to find him.

"It would be really funny if he turned up with that singer and made me ask him out, though," Alexander says, and John and Hercules laugh, but are cut off when Lafayette speaks from behind them.

"Wouldn't that be funny indeed?" They all turn around to see Lafayette with his arm around the shoulders of the very same singer from before. "This is Aaron Burr, we went to college together. Aaron, this is my boyfriend, Hercules; this is John Laurens; and this is Alexander Hamilton, who I believe has some things he would like to tell you." Lafayette looks more smug than Alexander feels is strictly necessary.

Alexander, realizing his mouth is hanging open a little bit, closes it, opens it again to speak, and then closes it again. He knows he must be blushing terribly.

"I-- so-- uh-- so you're a singer? I'm a singer, kinda, I'm a lawyer as my day job but I like to sing, I mean I'm better at rapping but singing is good too--" Alexander sees John groan and cover his face with a hand out of the corner of his eye. "And-- god, who ever lets me open my mouth?"

"It's fun to see you put your foot in it," Lafayette says cheerfully. "Anyway, Alexander here would not stop talking while you were performing, he said lots of interesting things."

"Interesting?" Aaron says. "That could mean many things."

"Go on, Alex, tell the man," John says, having now removed his hand from his face and who is now grinning. Aaron raises one eyebrow, looking somewhere between amused, confused, and awkward.

"I-- well," Alexander says, trying to find where the fuck he had put his charm, "you-- you're very beautiful." Both of Aaron's eyebrows are raised now. "And you have an amazing voice."

"And don't forget the part where you told me you'd do anything he asked you," John puts in. Alexander elbows John, who just cackles. Alexander nervously glances at Aaron's face. Okay, that's definitely amusement. Probably. Well. He can work with that.

"That is interesting indeed," Aaron says smoothly, and Alexander sees Hercules trying not to laugh.

 _Fuck it._ "So, how about it then? Wine 'n dine?" Alexander throws in an exaggerated wink.

"I'll think about it. Give me your number, and we'll see," Aaron says; he sounds disinterested, but Alexander could swear there is laughter in his eyes. In a slight state of shock, Alexander pulls out his wallet, takes out a business card, and hands it to Aaron. Aaron laughs.

"You give out your business card when you're hitting on people? For real?"

"It has my phone number on it, it's easier than writing it down!" Alexander points out. "So, yeah? I mean, why wouldn't I?

"Your personal phone number is also your work phone number?"

"I'm not at the office all the time, what if someone needs to reach me?"

"Some people leave their work at work," Hercules puts in.

"You're not helping." Alexander looks back at Aaron, who is smiling a little. Alexander tries not to let his hopefulness show on his face.

"We'll see," Aaron says again. "It was nice meeting you all," he adds, to the rest of the group. He tells Lafayette it was nice to see him again; Lafayette releases him, and he disappears into the crowd.

"You guys are literally the worst," Alexander says.

"Yeah, but he's got your number now," John says, and Lafayette winks at Alexander.

"Let's just go get some food," Alexander says with a sigh, and so they go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i ALMOST made it on time. hope you enjoy!!

Lafayette spends the entirety of dinner texting, paying little attention to the conversation.

"Who are you texting?" John asks him; he is sitting to Alexander's right and across from Lafayette, and leans forward to try and read Lafayette's texts upside down. Lafayette tilts his phone away from John, up towards himself, and turns so his phone is angled towards the wall, so Hercules can't read it either.

"None of your business."

"Is it Aaron?" John asks, smirking at Alexander.

"Please. He probably hates me for introducing him to you lot." Lafayette winks at Alexander, who sighs and rolls his eyes.

Alexander and John are squabbling over dessert when someone slips into the booth next to Alexander, rests an arm around Alexander's shoulders. Alexander startles and turns away from John to find himself face-to-face with a smiling Aaron Burr.

"You _were_ texting him!" Alexander says indignantly to Lafayette. Lafayette just winks at him again. _Ugh._

"Sorry I'm late," Aaron says.

"I-- uh--"

"Lafayette invited me, didn't he tell you?" Aaron says, with a grin that makes it clear that he had known full well that Lafayette had not said anything.

The five of them stay there for the better part of another hour, lingering over dessert, talking and laughing. Aaron keeps his arm around Alexander's shoulders; he is left-handed, so it doesn't even impede him stealing the ice cream from Alexander's plate.

"All right, we had probably better clear out, the employees are all giving us 'fuck off' looks, must be close to closing time," Hercules says finally. They all get out of the booth; Aaron sticks close to Alexander.

"You should walk me home," Aaron says, softly enough that only Alexander can hear.

"Okay," Alexander says, and cautiously reaches for Aaron's hand. Aaron laces his fingers through Alexander's. Alexander can't help the smile that blossoms across his face, especially when Aaron smiles back.

They trail several feet behind the others as they walk outside. "Alex, you coming back with us?" John says over his shoulder. Alexander shakes his head, and John smiles. "Well, y'all have a nice night then." The three of them turn the corner and head for where they had parked their car.

"My apartment's just a few blocks away," says Aaron, once the two are alone.

"Can I kiss you?" Alexander asks in a rush. Aaron laughs.

"I'm sure you can wait for it." He gives a little half-smile and squeezes Alexander's hand. "We'll be there soon."

"You're gonna make me wait?"

"Hey, I heard you'd do anything I asked." Aaron's smile is edging towards a smirk now.

"I-- pssh, I-- fuck, well, yeah, not like-- murder someone or rob a bank or anything, but like-- oh, fuck you and that smug expression, you know exactly what I mean!"

Aaron laughs and leans against Alexander a little bit. Alexander presses back against him, squeezing his hand. He wants to convince himself otherwise, but he's sure Aaron is angling for nothing but a one-night stand. Alexander is very interested in Aaron, a little desperate, a little lonely, but Aaron is beautiful and probably far out of Alexander's league. Aaron must have people practically lining up to date him. This is probably just Aaron taking pity on the smitten friend-of-a-friend; Alexander shouldn't get his hopes up. Not that his hopes don't seem to have a mind of their own, however.

"Turn here," Aaron says, "it's the first building right here." They pause outside the door. Alexander gives Aaron a questioning look. "Yes, you are invited in, if you would like. I'm not expecting anything from you. I'd just like to get to know you."

"Get to know me, or--" An eyebrow waggle. "Get to _know_ me?"

"I suppose we'll have to find out," Aaron says, and tilts his head up to kiss to Alexander's cheek. He smiles at Alexander's resulting facial expression, and then leads the way inside, still holding Alexander's hand. They get on the elevator, go up to the fourth floor, and enter apartment number 408.

It's a tiny studio apartment, but everything is neatly organized and partitioned off to maximize privacy. The bedroom, such that it is, is sheltered behind a screen.

Aaron leads Alexander there once they've taken off their shoes and their coats.

"Can I kiss you now?"

"Patience is a virtue, dear Alexander. Let's not get in over our heads too quickly. --Can you quit jiggling your leg? You're moving the whole bed."

"Sorry. I basically kinda can't. Too much energy, not enough space. If I'm not doing something, I can't focus."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"I know it bothers some people, but I can't really help it."

"That's okay. We all have our quirks." Aaron smiles, as if at a small private joke.

"Tell me one of yours, then." Alexander flops back onto the bed, folds his arms behind his head and raises his eyebrows at Aaron.

"Mm." He looks at Alexander for a long moment, clearly debating with himself. Alexander meets his eyes; then Aaron glances away briefly, before looking back again. "I'm a trans man."

"Oh. Thank you for telling me. I, uh-- how out are you?"

"Not very. Most people don't know. I only tell people on a need to know basis, really."

"Oh?"

"I mean, we're literally in my bed. I-- it seemed like you wanted to-- I mean if this changes things then we don't have to--"

"No-- no, it doesn't change anything, I still-- god I would do anything for you."

"What do you mean by anything?" Aaron moves to sit cross-legged beside Alexander. He trails his index finger across Alexander's lower lip. Alexander inhales sharply, his mouth opening slightly, and Aaron smiles. Alexander kisses the tip of Aaron's finger, maintaining eye contact with Aaron.

"You really are beautiful," Alexander says softly.

"So are you," Aaron whispers, and leans down to kiss Alexander. Alexander responds with a sigh, reaching up to put his arms around Aaron, to pull him closer. Aaron adjusts his position so he's on top of Alexander, and continues kissing him, slowly, sweetly. He pauses, eventually, and moves away, sitting on Alexander's thighs. "Before we do anything else, serious adult talk time."

A dazed Alexander just nods.

"Whatever happens, I don't care, I wouldn't ever judge you, if something goes wrong or something happens and you need me to stop or change course, you have to tell me immediately. I-- I don't want you to be uncomfortable during any of this at all, like, okay, I get it, you said you'd do anything, but if you don't want to do something, I never, ever would want to force you to. Can you promise me you'll speak up if you need something?"

"I promise." Alexander reaches for Aaron's hand, links his pinky with Aaron's. Aaron smiles.

"All right, then. Is it okay if I take off your shirt?"

"Please."

"You're gonna have to sit up, gorgeous," Aaron says. Alexander laughs and sits up, finding himself face-to-face with Aaron, and they get distracted kissing again. Aaron slips his hands beneath the hem of Alexander's shirt, and Alexander sighs, pulls Aaron closer. Aaron pushes Alexander's shirt halfway up his torso. There is some awkward fumbling when he tries to pull it off further and Alexander gets a little tangled up in the sleeves. Both of them, laughing, finally get untangled, and take the opportunity to get Aaron's shirt off as well. Alexander, with a little smile, leans in to press soft kisses to the top surgery scars on Aaron's chest. Aaron cups Alexander's face in his hands and guides him to lay back down, settling on top of him.

Aaron kisses Alexander's jaw, his throat, and Alexander groans, hooking his fingers through Aaron's belt loops to pull their hips together. Alexander grinds his hips up against Aaron's as Aaron sucks a bruise into the side of Alexander's neck.

"Fuck, Aaron, that feels so good, you're so wonderful--"

"Man, I'm hardly doing anything yet, you're easy to impress," Aaron says, and smiles against Alexander's skin.

"You're just perfect, hard _not_ to be impressed, really."

"You're sweet." A brief pause. "Tell me what you want me to do."

"Anything you want, but, to be perfectly honest, I probably won't last long."

Aaron laughs and trails his hand down Alexander's torso, stopping just above the button of Alexander's pants. Alexander's hips jerk upwards against his own volition, and Aaron smiles. "We have got all night, you know, there's no need to be in such a rush." He leans in and kisses just beneath Alexander's ear. Alexander takes a measured breath, exhales slowly, trying to clear his head.

"Yeah, well, just means we can go another round, after. Maybe more than once." Alexander tries for 'smooth' with this statement, but it lands squarely in 'breathless.'

"Mm. We'll see." Aaron kisses him in the same place again.

"Dude. Just-- take off my pants, will you?"

"So _impatient_ , Alexander," Aaron says, even as he undoes Alexander's fly, pauses to press his palm against Alexander's crotch, drawing out a gasp of " _fuck, Aaron._ " Aaron seems to take this as a suggestion, and proceeds with taking off Alexander's clothes. Instead of taking off his own immediately thereafter, however, he sits back on Alexander's thighs again and appraises him, then meet's Alexander's eyes. Alexander's face is flushed.

"Are you gonna take off your pants?" Alexander manages to get out.

"Hmm." Aaron leans down, presses a feather-light kiss to the bruise he had left on Alexander's neck. Alexander grabs Aaron's hand, holds it tight in his, just for something to hang on to. Aaron smiles, then, and kisses Alexander's cheek, then his lips. "Yeah, but you've gotta give me my hand back for me to accomplish that."

"Oh. Right. Yeah." Alexander lets go of Aaron's hand, and Aaron makes good on his word. Things move rather quickly after that moment. There is a moment where they are both naked and almost hesitant, looking at each other, until Alexander pulls Aaron down to kiss him.

Aaron pulls the ponytail out of Alexander's hair, drags his hands through his hair, and Alexander moans, arching his back, trying to get friction against whatever part of Aaron he can.

"Hold up, condom first," Aaron says, breaking the kiss to pull away, rummage in his dresser. Alexander lays there, still, watching Aaron, trying to catch his breath. Once that is all situated, Aaron gets back on top of Alexander.

"Jesus, I don't know how you manage to keep getting more beautiful, wow-- _oh_ \-- _fuck_ , Aaron, god, wow--"

"How eloquent. Flattery will get you nowhere, you know."

"Actually, I think it's getting me-- ah-- somewhere, for sure-- _oh_ \--"

"If you come before me, you better put that mouth of yours to work at something that's a better use of both of our time."

****

Alexander wakes up before Aaron the next morning. Neither of them are wearing clothes; Aaron is curled up facing Alexander, though the two aren't quite touching. His mouth is slightly open when he sleeps. Alexander privately thinks it's kind of cute.

 _God,_ Alexander thinks, _there is no way he's actually going to still want me. Maybe I should just... go._ He disentangles himself from the blankets and sits up, looking around for his shirt, when he feels Aaron's arms wrap around his middle.

"You better not be going anywhere," he says, "because I have some plans."

"Plans?" Alexander feels hope blossom in his chest.

"Morning sex, then brunch date?"

"Like... a real date?"

Aaron looks a little nervous. "Yeah-- I mean, if you'd like to."

A smile lights up Alexander's face. "Aaron, I can honestly say there are few things I'd like more."

"Do any of the few things that you _would_ like more involve the two of us in this bed?"

"How did you guess?"

Aaron pulls Alexander down to kiss him senseless. _Yes,_ Alexander thinks, _this has got to be the most perfect way to start a day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added my bf as a co-author because i spent most of the time i was trying to write this texting him like "HELP ME WHAT DO I SAY NOW" so he like ghostwrote like half this chapter lmfao <3 (it was really challenging for me to write for some reason but i think it turned out all right.)
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoyed this!! comments and kudos are always appreciated, and you can also find me on tumblr at waitforit--waitforit.tumblr.com !

**Author's Note:**

> um...... so happy birthday leslie odom jr.................. it's absolutely his fault i'm this into hamilton because he and his voice are Just Too Beautiful. and i hope he never reads this bc i would die
> 
> anyway. the rating will be actually relevant next chapter, i just, uh, need to finish writing it first


End file.
